She says, by @mammapolitico
The first day of the Conservative Party Conference and the knives are out for the long term unemployed. All around the country, apparently, there are hordes of people receiving benefit payments so generous they are living the life of Reilly, content to never work again. This government has an answer though. A draconian and ridiculous scheme to make the long term unemployed work for their benefits. Yes, you heard right. The plan is to make people WORK for their benefits.The one element missing in these people’s lives. The thing that many of them will have been striving daily and despairingly to find will be handed to them on a plate – just like that! In order to receive the small amount of money the unemployed are expected to manage on, those work shy types will have to undertake community work, attend a job centre daily, or undergo what is being term a “full time intensive programme” to find out the underlying reasons for their long term work shyness.
Any who has ever looked for work, knows that it is no easy task even in a booming economy. I have a degree and a post graduate teaching qualification. In 2009 after a couple of years out of the workplace to have a baby I decided to return to the workplace. This will be easy I thought. I applied for many many jobs to be told that I was over qualified, even though my qualifications had little relevance to the job I was applying for. I applied for teaching job after teaching job to be told that no school’s budget could afford me as my years of teaching experience put me at the top of the pay scales. A huge amount of hours and effort went in to applying for and interviewing for those jobs. I eventually got a job training for a specialised teaching role as a Teacher of Deaf children. I worked there for 18 months and the funding for my position was cut leaving me jobless. Guess what Mr Osborne – Life happens like that sometimes – people become unemployed through no fault of their own!
My point is that in order to effectively search for work the unemployed need to be left alone to do so. What makes my blood boil about this government is their complete lack of empathy for the ordinary man in the street, for hard working families and individuals who want to get on in life. It’s not surprising though, when we look at the privileged backgrounds these decision makers come from. I am more than happy for my taxes to go to support the lives of the unemployed as they try to get back on their feet. I’m getting help from the benefits system right now, that boosts the small income I get from self employment. Needing to claim these benefits isn’t down to work shyness or greed – it’’s out of necessity resulting from a divorce. I have no doubt that with the advent of Universal Credit I’ll be expected to justify to someone behind a job centre desk, quite why that income is so small. My response – erm – five children to look after too – not enough hours in the day to make more money maybe?!
How dare the Conservative Party sit in judgement upon those who need our help and support? What kind of twisted logic creates a workfare scheme that prevents people from having the time and energy to look for actual work? There is no suggestion that any of these workfare roles will turn into actual paid employment. The whole scheme is a car crash waiting to happen.
He says, by @ADadCalledSpen
BRRING BRRING. BRRING BRRING
Hello? The Prime Minister speaking.
Hey Dave, it’s George Osborne, Chancellor of The Exchequer and heir to the Baronetcy of Ballentaylor and Ballylemon. Family motto ‘Pissing on the poor since 1629.’ How goes it my friend?
G-Man! Ozzy! All good thanks. Got one of these new Iphone things. Blagged it at a G7 summit I went to. Don’t tell the papers!
Sure blud. Just calling before conference starts as I’ve missed you and I’m giving you a heads up on this workfare thing.
Oh, that. IDS sent over papers last week but I didn’t totes read it as I don’t like reading stuff written in red crayon. Not after that time Cleggy got one stuck up his nose during PMQ’s. What’s the rumpus?
In short DavCam. It goes like this. We make people work for their benefits. People are gonna hate it but we can blame it on the Lib Dems. The scum will have to work or we’ll stop paying them. Cool huh? What’s that noise in the background?
It’s just Cleggy. I’ll stick on CBeebies, that’ll keep him quiet for a bit. So basically we hand over a workforce to companies, people will have to work, and the companies don’t have to pay them? They don’t have to create new jobs for them?
That’s right. We’ll get them cleaning toilets in Tesco wearing ‘Happy to help badges with smiley faces on, and if their faces don’t match the happy smiley badge then we’ll put them under sanctions and take the bastards benefits away.
Not gonna be popular but I LOVE it. People will say how can people find jobs while being forced to work.
Yeah, and we can go lalalalala, we’re not listening. We’ll pin it on IDS. And we’ll blame it on the Labour government, the economy, say we’re all in this together, and all the usual bollocks. Was thinking of calling it our ‘friends with benefits’ policy but now going to call it ‘tough love’ as in ‘if you don’t like it then tough love’.
The Lib Dems will hate it.
Why? They got into bed with us? They should suck it up! Losers.
Sure. But they’ll hate it because so many of them will be unemployed after the next election. Mwahahahahaha.
Gotta go. BBC Breakfast wanna chat and I’ve not had anything to eat yet.
What’s for breakfast?
Swan, as per. You?
Swan. And the flesh of the poor. Yeah, gotta go myself. Clegg’s done a honker and he needs his nappy changed. Good plan George. Chat later. Love you.
Love you too.
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